State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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