if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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