so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
