Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
