just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
