I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
