I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
