this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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