I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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I need you to use more vowels.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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