So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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