awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
