Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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