It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
