the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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