very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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