made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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