part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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