so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
