If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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