Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
