thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
