Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
