You work out of a Hotel?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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