I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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