Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
