...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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