Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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