Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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