So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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