I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize