her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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