glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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