If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
