Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
