no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
