I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
