just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
