I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
