She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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