His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm too high and old for this...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
