absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize