i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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