I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize