Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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