haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
