her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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