If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
