Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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