Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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