There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
