I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize