New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
