How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
