I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
