Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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