Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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