Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
