did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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