I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
