it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
