Non-Jews are for practice
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
