The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
