I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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