you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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