I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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