Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
